Last night I took Michael Jackson’s virginity away. In my dreams.
I was at a restaurant with my roommate, Ali. It was very busy and very loud and we were seated at a booth. In this alternate universe Michael Jackson had died, but he was still walking around in his body for just a few more days. Everyone was still shocked by his death and the media was obsessed over it.
Anyway, I’m just about to order when I notice this loud restaurant become progressively silent. Even the music shuts off as I see Michael Jackson turn the corner. Everyone is paralyzed by him… no one says a word. He obviously notices and seems uncomfortable about it. Michael sits down at his table a couple feet away from me. There is still complete silence and every eye is on him. Finally, he seems to have a moment of understanding that we all really care about him, and we’re not staring to be rude. He says,
“Ok, everyone. Let’s all sing “Man in the Mirror”.”
And we DO. As I’m singing, I start crying, and we make eye contact. He is completely caught off guard and I can tell he is sad that I’m sad. After everyone sings, things go back to normal, because it’s out of their system. Michael comes and sits by me and we have a long, deep, meaningful conversation that I will not write about here because it’s private. (Ha. Just kidding. I just can’t remember that part).
Anyway, after all this bonding, he reveals to me that he’s never felt sexually attracted to anyone before me, and that he has never even full-on kissed anyone before, let alone sleep with them. So we kissed. And you know what? It was really nice. I felt a very strong connection with this Dream Michael, and the kiss was incredibly powerful.
And then we slept together. I woke up. And life went on.
Isn’t that so strange????
Rest in peace, Michael Jackson.
